There are several notorious unsolved American mysteries we've all spent a ton of time toiling over. Who killed Biggie? Were there, in fact, weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Did OJ really do it? When are Stabler and Olivia going to hook up?
But what I really want to know is this-
Where the $*%& did all my bobby pins go?
Anyone knows that solving this mystery would be life altering. You buy a pack of 75,000 bobby pins and in one week they've managed to end up anywhere except your head. To me, this question holds the same gravity as it's sister mysteries "Where the *$%^ is that other sock?" and "Does anyone have a *&%$ing hair tie?"
The thing that really makes me think this is probably a government conspiracy to drive all of us long haired chicks with bangs nuts is that when you don't need a bobby pin you find one in your sock drawer, in the fridge, on the stoop. Hell, you can probably find one or two tucked away in your hair, courtesy of the Bobby Pin Phantom.
I just pray that someone finds out why this is happening so that one day, yes one day, my children's children may be able to securely fasten their hair without having to make weekly runs to CVS.