....but i'm not

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Metra Pep Talk

My first day of Metra commuting from the burbs felt exactly the same as my first day of 4th grade in a new school.  Same khakis and all.

Here are a few moments from the "Jordan, listen here" pep talk I gave my brain:

1.  Choose your platform spot wisely because it will probably be your platform spot for the next 18 years until you move to California and stop taking the Metra.  Nobody switches platform spots, they just don't. (**Note- I chose the wrong platform spot and now I have to do it all over again tomorrow.)

2.  Keep an eye out for that annoying guy you work with who lives in your neighborhood because IF he sees you, you're screwed and he's your new commuting buddy.  He too, will be in this platform spot until the day he dies or until you move to California.

3.  Pretend like you aren't concerned that the train is 10 minutes late.  Everybody else is, except for that guy next to you who keeps walking up to the bumpy blue warning line and sticks his face out into the tracks to see if he can spot it first.  Everyone else seems to realize that we'll know the train is here when that guy gets smoked by it.

4.  Choose your Metra seat wisely because it will probably be your Metra seat for the next 18 years until you move to California.

5.  Similarly to point number 4, choose carefully because your comeback for a group of 50 year old women refusing to share a saved seat is probably the same as your comeback for a group of 4th graders refusing to share a saved seat - lots of tears.

6.  Don't beat yourself up if you laugh embarrassingly hard at your new commuting neighbors' corny joke about nobody giving you a "Metra rookie" hat even though I'm pretty sure that hat is my face.  Girl's got to suck up after dumping coffee all over said commuting neighbor.

7.  You are still way taller than everyone.