Normally, I hate notes. They tend to be uber-patronizing and cause flashbacks to my mom's chore lists wall-papered to the refrigerator (my fine tuned hidden talent: ignoring these notes). But this emotionally charged plea strategically placed above the button at the elevator in my new apartment building commands way too much respect to ignore, so I thought I'd share it with you.
First of all, I like that the writer started off the note intending to create a sense of community. It really succeeds in establishing a receptive audience, not putting the reader on the defensive, and setting the tone for the rest of the note. Hello AP English.
Secondly, this is definitely a seasoned smoker. Offering up THREE alternatives to letting that distinctive earthy odor seep under the door? THREE?! In my opinion, that's totally above and beyond the call of duty. This dude/chick loves the bud and is taking extra steps to ensure that you and I do NOT compromise that freedom. Also, who knew a vaporizer could take care of the smell, but I guess it makes sense seeing as it vaporizes and all. See? Maybe it's not a note at all, it's an informative essay.
Lastly, the writer packs a final punch and totally legitimizes him or herself in the sign off. You see, this isn't just another resident asshole, this is a 3YR 14TH FLOOR RESIDENT STONER...so listen damnit. And I think if my high school English teacher took a stab at grading this stellar piece of literature, no doubt the only ding against the author would be the ironic near-misspelling of dumbass.