Back in 9th grade, I took one of those career tests to match my skills set with potential career options. Some people were told they would make excellent accountants or lawyers and others were told they could be actors, models or comedians.
I got matched as a funeral home director.
And so began my search for an inspriring career! Considering I write blog posts about my lady parts and exes who LARP (live action role play) for fun, you can tell I haven't gotten very far. But it's something I've been thinking about and here are a few of the most enviable positions I can come up with:
1. The parking lot attendant at the gym near my house. His job is to navigate people through vacant parking spaces and when he's not doing that he has to stand in a 6x8 foot metal box and do God only knows what, but he seems a lot happier than Donald Trump. I wave and chat him up every morning but little does he know, I'm out for his job.
2. The person who changes the billboards and bus station signs. They are basically superheroes in my mind. It does not get more mysterious than this job.
3. A candlestick maker. Those actually exist, someone who makes candlesticks! I wanted to open a candle shop when I was little because I thought it would be bad ass to play with wax all day. I was definitely on to something.
4. A wedding DJ. I've vocalized my interest in this one before but was reminded that "no one wants to hear Fleet Foxes through their entire wedding reception."
5. A funeral home director. You're around sad people a lot, true, but you're also around dead people a lot, which means you can pick your nose at work and no one will catch you.