....but i'm not

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Take that Dr.I'm-Too-Good-For-Your-Noodles

If there's one piece of advice I'd give you kids, it would be this: don't ever think it's a good idea to try and impress a special man friend, who happens to have his PhD and matching ego, by cooking him noodles and sphagetti sauce, and only noodles and spaghetti sauce (from Aldi, no big deal). Apparently that signifies a lack of committment, care, and focus that some guys really appreciate in their lady friend. Since when did the presence of a head of lettuce become the deciding factor on whether or not the relationship will last?

You should have seen the reaction from 95% of the people I talked to about the situation. The conversation was the same every time:
[Insert name of family member, friend, dentist]: How'd your cooking date night go Jordan?
Me: Went pretty well I think, made pasta.
[Insert name of family member, friend, gyno]: Nice, what else did you make?
Me: What do you mean what else did I make? I made pasta. Noodles and spaghetti sauce? Was I supposed to make something else?
[Insert name of family member, friend, boss]: (heads bow and shake) Oh Jord.

I think that other 5% may have been my Pop who reacted the way dad's are supposed to react, "what a schmuck."

Granted, could I ever see myself with a guy who is scared/turned off by noodles and Ragu? No. Probably means that he makes his bed every day and wears sweatpants with tapered elastic bottoms. The point is that he should be content with my ability to entertain him while he cooks for me! Besides, my one redeeming quality is that this girl can bake (see image below, crumbly top courtesy of Ang and Steph).

Now this was a couple years ago and let me tell you, I have certainly matured. Next time I cook for a guy, I'm totally inviting my buddies over an hour before he arrives to work their culinary magic in my kitchen. It's amazing what some people will do for a lifetime supply of Glee DVRing.


  1. If I was of the LDS faith I'd consider sharing my fiance with you. He cooks for me all the time. He courted me by cooking me gourmet meals. It's his favorite past-time, and it's my least favorite. I love to bake because I have a sweet tooth but I am BAD at cooking. So I hear ya. And I think you will have luck. I always knew I'd marry a man who did the cooking.

  2. I'm really glad you clarified whawt the picture was of...for one scary second, I thought it was the spaghetti and Ragu just thrown in a dish! Whew!!!

  3. Jordon, look for a real man not a boy who is more interested in what you can (literally) bring to the table.