....but i'm not

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Spotlight on Panty Hose Day

I have just declared today to be "Spotlight on Panty Hose" day. Only because I've had two separate panty hose moments today...and I'm not even wearing them.

The first being that for most of the day I've been wondering who the blazes wears stockings (if your 70), panty hose (if you're 40), tights (if you're 23) in 90 degree heat. Then this got me to thinking about the time my friend told me that her boyfriend once saw her putting on her tights and cried out in horror "THAT'S what those things look like?!" Which I have since learned is not a unique situation. If he thought that was traumatizing, he should see when one foot gets stuck resulting in a freakish bounce around the room in attempts to get the other foot in the nylon casing/suction. This usually ends in expletives when I see my toe poke through the spot where my knee should be.

Next, and perhaps most touching, the cleaning lady at work stops me in the bathroom while I'm washing my hands, motions to my legs and says in broken English "are dose you skin or you panty hose that color?" Fair question given that my legs are the color of Arby's curly fries, soon to switch back to the color of McDonald's fries so enjoy it while it lasts.

"Oh these old gams? Oh aren't you sweet!," I replied. And then I hugged her. No, but I wanted to.

In retrospect, I think this might be one of those situations where I confuse compliments with backhanded jabs.

1 comment:

  1. Hah! You never can tell the meaning of their comments! I like the comparison of your leg color to fries. If you see me staring at your legs, don't be alarmed. I take this stuff seriously.