My office is overrun with aloe plants.
This really perplexes me because not once have I seen a sunburned coworker approach the healing plant, take out a pair of scissors, cut off a chunk of aloe leaf and rub it all over his/her bod. No doubt it's a sexual harassment law suit waiting to happen.
I'm challenged in the horticulture arena, so there is probably some very practical reason for keeping aloe in the office, in addition to it's magical healing powers. Either way, I don't care, these octopus plants creep me out.
Its giant pervy feelers are always reaching for my boob as I walk by and every day it moves closer and closer to my cubicle. While all the other plants grow toward the sun, this evil creature moves toward me. Not only that, but it has a buddy that sits atop the filing cabinets in the cubicle next to mine and it's so obvious that the two are in cahoots, plotting the takeover of workspace 09-632.
When I'm not analyzing statistical data in Excel spreadsheets and organizing meetings, I spend the rest of my time devising fantastical office escapes in which the aloe plant comes to life, spurring mass chaos and spewing goo as my innocent office-mates and I take shelter in the copy room, the filing cabinets, or under the fax machine (because it's 2010 and no aloe monster would think to look under the fax machine).
No joke, I just looked over at it and saw its tentacle morph into a smirk.