....but i'm not

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Stroke of Genius

Remember Rap Snacks? And Booty Pop? Both genius ideas I should have thought of first. I have another sublime find to share with you art snobs....

That's an oil painting. Of a wolf. Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool in a dirty martini. Stroking an olive.

Selling at $85 a piece at the South Haven, MI 4th of July weekend craft fair, this gem of a painting begs two questions, both of which were dissected and debated for an embarrassingly long time...

1) Why?
2) What is the deeper meaning of a canine in a martini glass?

Well I came to a couple of conclusions on both issues. 1) To answer the why - One day the artists' Finnish Spitz was running around chasing after a tennis ball while he sipped his dirty martini in a rainforest (which would explain the palm tree background). All of a sudden, instead of leaping for the tennis ball, the Spitz leaped into the air and landed on top of the martini glass with the toothpick strategically placed in its paw and the artist was like "Thanks Sparky! The artistic muse I've been waiting for! I'm going to start painting man's best friend in alochol baths, man's other best friend."

2) The deeper meaning is pretty obvious to me - What kind of parent would deprive their newborn infant of waking up to a a picture of these cute little guys hanging in the nursery?

AND what better way to introduce your children to the idea of alcoholism then through the arts? "See kids, do those pugs look happy to be bathing in a pool of alcohol? You won't either."

This entire experience just served as reaffirmation for me: craft fairs=America.


  1. Oh my goodness. It's really hard to understand how this business can sustain itself. Maybe it's really some sort of interactive art piece, where people are filmed reacting to the paintings for sale? I hope?

  2. girl how do you think they fit the dogs in the martini glasses? and more importantly, how do they told the olives?

  3. This is incredible. In fact, I think I may have just found the perfect gift for my stepdad.

  4. i've been trying to come up with a clever comment for this post, but i'm just speechless.